Capt. JJ
08-02-2020, 08:43 PM
Date: Saturday, August 1st
Time: early morning
Location: East of Jersey Coast shoreline
Local authorities were called to a Point Pleasant marina this afternoon to investigate a complaint filed by a fishing charter crew member who alleged that a male suspect, only identified as "GDUBS", intentionally cast a heavy lead object, called by many in the fishing community as a " 6 ounce spro", at the victims head on the charter boat, "Rock Bottom".
According to witnesses, Mr. GDUBS was attempting to throw the lead object as far into the ocean as humanly possible, with as much force as humanly possible, when it was stopped in its tracks by the victims head. Eyewitnesses claim this alleged assault not only caused immediate pain to the victim, but also prevented yet another 6'' fluke from attempting to swallow it, thus saving even more embarrasment to both the fisherman, and the poor fish he was seeking to catch.
The captain of the vessel immediately called the authorities to report the incident, but also to inform them that the vessels other passengers had completely filled their daily limit, or quota, of said, aforementioned fluke, albeit all of legal size, not the 6" specimens that Mr. DUBS was after, in an area commonly referred to as "none of your damned business where we found them".
Interviewing crew members Brad, Chris, and the victim, Connor St. Ramrod resulted in corroborating evidence, and after 3 straight hours of apologies from the assaulter, also resulted in hours of non-stop laughter as the plaintiff was forced to "drop his damned line by the boat like everyone else, instead of swinging it and taking their heads off!".
Point Pleasant police refused to comment further but assured this investigator that charges would be filed, and Mr. GDUBS would be banned from all fishing activities for life.
Time: early morning
Location: East of Jersey Coast shoreline
Local authorities were called to a Point Pleasant marina this afternoon to investigate a complaint filed by a fishing charter crew member who alleged that a male suspect, only identified as "GDUBS", intentionally cast a heavy lead object, called by many in the fishing community as a " 6 ounce spro", at the victims head on the charter boat, "Rock Bottom".
According to witnesses, Mr. GDUBS was attempting to throw the lead object as far into the ocean as humanly possible, with as much force as humanly possible, when it was stopped in its tracks by the victims head. Eyewitnesses claim this alleged assault not only caused immediate pain to the victim, but also prevented yet another 6'' fluke from attempting to swallow it, thus saving even more embarrasment to both the fisherman, and the poor fish he was seeking to catch.
The captain of the vessel immediately called the authorities to report the incident, but also to inform them that the vessels other passengers had completely filled their daily limit, or quota, of said, aforementioned fluke, albeit all of legal size, not the 6" specimens that Mr. DUBS was after, in an area commonly referred to as "none of your damned business where we found them".
Interviewing crew members Brad, Chris, and the victim, Connor St. Ramrod resulted in corroborating evidence, and after 3 straight hours of apologies from the assaulter, also resulted in hours of non-stop laughter as the plaintiff was forced to "drop his damned line by the boat like everyone else, instead of swinging it and taking their heads off!".
Point Pleasant police refused to comment further but assured this investigator that charges would be filed, and Mr. GDUBS would be banned from all fishing activities for life.